“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” -Mahatma Gandhi
“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” -James Dean
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Suess
She tells me she’s hurting.
She tells me she can’t stand herself. She tells me she’s worthless.
He says he’s thinking of ending it.
He says it’s not worth fighting for.
He says living isn’t what he’s meant for anymore.
I don’t say anything.
She called me the other night crying. She told me she was feeling that way again.
I couldn’t acknowledge what was really going on here. It hurt to much, and I didn’t know what to do.
He told me the scars were healing, but not quick enough.
He said that when they’re there it’s easier to walk around, because people can understand the damage they’ve done.
All I could do was stare. It was paralyzing, but not in a good way.
She left first.
I never got to say goodbye.
He left second.
I made sure I got to him this time, but it wasn’t enough.
I keep hearing voices.
She keeps asking me to tell her mom she loved her.
He keeps telling me to make sure his dad’s okay.
I keep telling myself that I should’ve done more. I keep wondering why it’s always so hard to find the right words to say. It’s never just enough to tell someone you’re sorry, even if you mean it. I keep replaying old conversations in my head. It’s hurting me too now.
I miss them.
I would never consider ending it, there’s too much to live for. I would think of my parents, and my friends. I would think of this life I’ve been graciously given. I would think of the people I do love, and that love me back. I would tell myself, no matter what, that it gets better.
Why couldn’t I tell them that myself?
That it gets better.